an unofficial 15

I'm not 15 yet, although it's a matter of days and I'll be 15. so now if I kept saying now: I'm 14. and then at 17/3 I'll say: I'm 15. amazing how only few days can be counted as a year. but I believe that it's not those few days who turned me into 15. it's by the things that made me 15. from now I'm saying that I'm 15 because I feel like it. although I have Noor saying: We're 14, stop saying we're 15. But I believe that I am 15, that age which I'm no longer considered a kiddo or considered at my early teenage life. I'm a true teenager now -or I like to think that I am-.
I hope I'm making sense or at least I'm going to make sense. I hope I'm not like the song that I was listening to, but the problem wasn't with the song, it was with the program, so it was like: In My, my my my dream, there's there's only you you you no...." and I gave up hope on it and closed it, so a true prayer that this isn't like the song I listened to.
I already feel I'm 15, talk, walk, eat, sleep, do everything like someone who's been in this life for 15 years.
15 is like any year you become, but it's different in what you want to do, learn in this year. How am I going to be 15 or acting like one? nothing new or different, it's the way you see the world and the way you react which is the only different thing that changes from one year to another.
It is I who is going to decide all those things, it's I who will be living as a 15 years old girl who have been through more than she should go through but still she'll living and she has some respect left for this life. That some respect may go away through these years that are left for me to live.
I'm not being pessimist but it's the truth and nothing but the truth.
In this new chapter of my life which isn't a chapter because being in the same place, doing the same things, make me in the same chapter I was in, so I shouldn't say a new 'chapter' but it is a new 'way' of seeing things.
I'm muture, I should keep reminding myself that I am at some extent, muture, but I seem to forget that fact and then a lot of nasty things follow...
'Life still unseen' not true. 'Life still uncovered' half true. No life will be complete, we'll all try to do so, even though we all know we're not going to complete it but it's if you try or not that counts not if you achieve what you've tried to do.
So I'm at the door waiting for 15 to arrive, although I feel like it's already here. But it might only take few days until it arrives and I can say: I'm 15. and I mean it more than I do now.
'An end is a start for a new beggining'.... so long 14 and hello 15...